Of course, you get to know people from work, but those are business friends.
To know other people you must involve yourself in some outside activity like supporting a cause, social club or sports activity. I am talking here of friends beyond your workplace and community.
There is an old English story how Apollonius a shipwrecked man found his way to the castle of the king. During a recreation moment, Apollonius impressed the king at a ball game with the other servants. The king summoned the stranger to come before him; the man refused as he was with improper clothing. Where upon the king ordered Apollonius be clothed at once with worthy garments and join the king to a feast.
The above story tells us a lot not only of getting to know people but also of advertising yourself in a career path. Let us take one at a time.
When at work you think you have great friends little realizing that, those friendships may be for the power you hold or the influences that your job can bring. However, when you retire then you really know who your true office friends were. Now as retirement shrinks so does your office friendship pool. You now have to find new friends. One way of making new friendships is to get involved in events outside your office and home.
I do not condone people of a certain nationality getting together. There is the Irish Day, German Day, India Day and many nationalities do enjoy their festivities here in the USA. When birds of a feather flock together there is a certain comfort zone. However, if friendships only center on the “nationality” you will not be able to get to know the locals other than occasionally talking to your neighbor over the fence.
In my own case, some of the best friendships with locals have been through activities of running, bicycling and swimming. It is the running that has brought me the closest friendships that has endured to family friends for well over two decades. When someone spends three hours on a long group-run each weekend a lot of solidarity and camaraderie builds up. The friendships of running and similar sports are noncompetitive so there is little cause for fallout. You run, walk or bike with someone of an even pace and chat in the process and enjoy the movement. Folks who live in NYC have a grand opportunity to invite someone else to walk on the walkways of the Westside. Similar infrastructures exist in other states and other parts of the world as well.
In Dale Carnegie’s teachings, I recall a story of a musician. A musician was utterly shy of displaying his talents in the public square. On the other hand, other musicians of less talent boldly played their instruments in the public square. Those visible ones who appreciated the people also had hires for paid performances. Years passed and all the musicians died from old age. The people still spoke of the great musicians who played in the public square. However, those talented musicians who did not display their talent were never known, did not get anywhere with their skills and were never remembered. So what does this teach us? Display your talents so that you will get to know the locals and others will get to know you.
Displaying your talents in the work place will show others what else you can do. It cannot be great if nobody notices, is it not?
There is something wrong with society, unfortunately. A well-known TV anchor, for example, is popular simply for excelling at his or her job. That fame, once established carries them through in other aspects of life as well. The secret of fame is such that someone is well known simply “for his or her well-knownness,” Then this same person goes and writes a biography of their life or their parents life and adds something spicy about a secrect love affair and the book sells although it has nothing to do with TV anchoring. Get the point. Once you develop fame, you are on your road to success for past fameness. Just think how some individuals in your organization held different positions of different career paths even when they may have excelled mostly in one position. The “well-knownness” once established just carried them forward.
To end this essay here is the gist. Go out and meet the locals and show the talents that you have. Getting to know the locals does not necessarily hinge on sports only. Other vested interests bring people together, book clubs, writers clubs, camera clubs, investment clubs, discussion clubs, coffee chats, to name but a few. Of course, you have to live in an environment that you will be "accepted" to also easily meet the locals.
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